Legal Question in Family Law in Washington
Hi, my children are in the custody of their aunt (my adopted step-sister). I had to move across country for a better job after my divorce in 2010. My ex (the children's mother) was arrested almost a year after I moved and I wasn't able to travel cross country (I moved from WA to OH) to pick up my kids. So my sister let them stay with her and her family. While my ex was incarcerated (for about a year) my sister filed for temporary custody. I was okay with this since I didn't want them to be in foster care or with my ex when she got out of jail. I spoke often to my kids and even sent a webcam for them to communicate with me (which they never used). As time went on my phone calls started being limited and then they stopped answering entirely. My oldest daughter, who was around 10 at the time, started acting differently to me on the phone. She told me our calls were limited to a few minutes and I could tell one phone call even had me on speaker phone and I heard my sister and her husband in the background telling her what to say (like why did I leave her). This was very upsetting to me and I tried talking to her but I knew they were always listening in to our conversations. I have since remarried and have a wife and step daughter. I tried to keep communication up with them but my sister would never return my calls and I finally became so upset over it that I just stopped trying to make contact because it seemed like they didn't want to talk to me or hear from me. At the time I spoke to my child support case worker letting him know what was going on and that they were refusing contact. I couldn't afford an attorney and have new obligations as well now. When my sister filed for permanent custody, about a year and a half ago, I felt it was better for them to stay with her and her family than to be with my ex (she is totally unfit for many reasons, including being an alcoholic, having anger and rage issues and molestation of a minor female child). I thought about trying to file for custody of them but I didn't want to uproot them from all they have ever known and their schools, friends, etc. I knew my sister and her husband would be able to care for them better than I could at the time. I was working at nights at the time on 12 hour shifts. I had no one to stay with them while I was at work. I have never missed a child support payment and I also provide health and dental insurance for both children who are now ages 6 and 13. I called to speak with my sister about everything but she would never take my calls. I left numerous messages for her and for my children but never heard back from them. I was served papers today by a Fed Investigator here where I live in OH stating that now my sister and her husband want more child support. I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck and my wife stays at home to take care of our 8 year old so I can't afford paying anything more. My sister and her husband send their 2 children who also live with them to private schools and my sister owns her own Daycare Center. Her husband also has a good job. My sister said a lot of negative and untrue things about me in these papers and it is obvious she is trying to make me out to be a bad parent in the eyes of the court. I feel that they only want the kids with them for the money and I want to know what my rights are. The papers state that my ex now has no contact with our children. My question is, what do I do about this....since they have refused contact and never returned any of my calls (they have my phone number)...isn't it illegal for them to do this? So what are my rights? Also, wouldn't the children's mother have to share in the child support now too since she doesn't have custody? Any advice you can give me would me much appreciated. Thank you so much
1 Answer from Attorneys
Sir,
You paint a very disturbing picture. You have the right to have custody of your children. If you refuse to exercise that right, then your rights to custody and visitation with your children, as well as the right to make decisions for them can be curtailed or cut off completely. For this reason, you should start to contact agencies in Washington, such as the Northwest Justice Project, to see if you can get pro bono representation. You did not mention what county the kids live in, but if it is in King, Snohomish, or Pierce Counties, I also suggest you talk to the UW School of Law and Seattle Pacific School of Law to see if their legal clinics (run by law students who are supervised by licensed attorneys or professors of law) will take up your case.
The children's mother also owes support, but if she's in prison or newly released and barely hanging on, most likely, she will be in for the minimum ($50) per month.
I realize you don't want to take your children away from their schools and friends, but consider that they are growing up without either of their parents involved in their lives. If they have been cut off from you, this is incredibly unhealthy. I think most child psychologists would tell you that by letting this carry on, your children will grow up with huge voids resulting from the lack of close relationships with either parent. I urge you to either seek outright custody of your children, which will be hard given the passage of so many years, but is possible, and at least consider seeking visitation, both in person and by video chat. Once there are court orders in place, your sister will have to comply or risk being held in contempt of court.
Given you are in Ohio, you really are going to need legal counsel to help you out, and it is going to have to be pro bono, so again, I suggest you start with the information above and seek out professional help. You need to do this quickly if you've been served child support modification or adjustment papers, so that you are not found in default, which means the orders your sister seeks will be entered without having to hear from you. To avoid this, you need to timely respond to the papers you have been served with.
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