Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

i just found my daughter after 6 year her mother does not let me talk to her shes 16 years old what can i do where can i go


Asked on 1/27/11, 3:19 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Amir John Showrai The Pacific Law Firm, PLLC

You need an attorney to help you with this. I am not sure where in Washington you are, but I suggest you find local counsel to help you. First, you will need to bring all the paperwork in your daughter's case to the attorney to be able to review. Go to the courthouse where the case took place and obtain copies of all the records from the Clerk's office. If you are not close to the courthouse, call and see about obtaining copies of all the court records by mail, or even electronically, depending on what county this all took place in.

Second, although most attorneys will give a free short consultation, you need someone to review the documents. Spend the money to pay an attorney to do this. After that, they can tell you what they think you can do, and how much it will cost.

The worst part about your case is that your daughter is 16. That needs to be considered by you. In less than 2 years, you will not need court orders to say when you can see her, or call her, etc. She may not want a relationship with you either, and after turning 18, you can't force that upon her.

Sometimes, pursuing a case such as yours may take up to a year to see through. If you indeed go that far, it may cost you in the $20,000 in attorney and guardian ad litem fees, and other costs associated with the case. It may be a lot cheaper too, so I don't want to scare you off, and you may be able to find an attorney who will work with you on a payment plan. If your daughter were 4 years old, this would not be an issue. At 16, it becomes an issue.

Again, a good family law lawyer will tell you what your best options are. Last, and this is not so much legal advise as much as it is parenting advice from another parent. Many times, children such as your daughter wonder where there are fathers are, why they did not see them, etc. She will know what her mother has told her, but she may also know that in order to protect her, or to keep things from her, your daughter's mother may not have told her everything. That will lead her to head down to the Court and pull the same legal documents that have been filed in this case, as I earlier advised you to pull for an attorney to look over.

Long term, even if you lose a custody case, it may help for your daughter to know that you at least tried to see her. That you did not give up on her or abandon her. She may still be plenty upset with you for not being there, and she may be justified, but like most kids, she will want to have a relationship with you, if she at least feels that you care for her and are a decent man. A starting point of such a relationship may be her asking and you explaining, what happened that you did not see her all these years?

Be prepared to explain yourself, and do not blame her mother. Short of kidnapping your daughter, that is not a credible explanation. By kidnapping, I mean the FBI is involved, there is a prosecution, etc. Not, her mother won't let me see her. Your daughter, like the courts will rightfully point out, that's what courts are for�to enforce your rights to visitation.

Now, if you cannot afford an attorney, cannot find one willing to take your case on a pro bono basis (for free), then you need to start looking for a legal services organization to help you with free legal aid. It could be at a local law school with a clinic to help low income folks, or places like Columbia Legal Services, etc. Google low income legal providers and you will get a wealth of choices.

Best of luck,

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Answered on 2/08/11, 2:17 pm


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