Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

Re: I'm looking to gain custody of my 3 kids

A lot depends on circumstances. For example, why did she leave the state? Was her life in danger? Is she in the military? Etc.

For the moment, let's just assume she is a flake who has actually abandoned her children, then you could make a case to terminate her parental rights or at least seek a court ordered parenting plan (this is the legal term for a child custody order in Washington) in which you become the primary residential parent, and she may get some type of visitation.

I know what I am about to say doesn't help, but I need more details and until I know more, it is difficult to say with any degree of certainty what you are up against. I recommend you call either myself or another family law attorney willing to give you a free consultation to see what can be done for you.

Re: I'm looking to gain custody of my 3 kids

Joint custody is the favored concept in Washington State and to get anything other than that you would have to prove some level of misconduct. That may include abandonment that results in damage to the parent child relationship. But even failing that you can probably be designated the residential parent (what most people think of as custody, but it is not).

I would be available to discuss the details of your situation in more detail. Unmarried couples have some additional issues that have to be addressed.