Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

Re: legal rights of a step mother

I always tell my clients that being a step parent is the most thankless job in the world. When things go bad, you get the "your not my real mom/dad!" When they go well, even if you did all the work to help the child achieve something, you get second billing, at best, when it comes time to get thanked.

As for your rights in relation to your step children, you have virtually no rights. You cannot make decisions for the children, you cannot seek custody of them, and you cannot sue in court for this ability either, given that you are not a parent of the child.

The only thing you can do is enforce the rules of your home, while the children are in your home, but that has to occur within reasonable limits. So, for example, you can assign "take out the trash" types of chores, or that they clean their rooms once a week, or do the dishes, or ask to be excused from the dinner table. You cannot however say that they kids have to sleep in the barn without heat, or that they have to attend church with you, or a lot of other things. As a step parent, you have very limited abilities.

Now, their father, who lives with you and the kids, he has a lot of rights, so I suggest that if you have concerns, you take it up with him, and see where things go from there.

I hope this helps you, at least somewhat.