Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

Hi Stephanie,

The short answer to your question is "no." That's not how the system works. That said, your opinion matters to some degree. By this I mean the basis for your opinion. If you say you want to go home because Mom or Dad let you each junk food, play video games, and aren't too worried about you skipping school, versus your foster parents who are all over you all the time about those things, then your opinion will be paid no attention to.

On the other hand, if you express a mature basis for wanting to go home, such as the fact that in your visits with your parents, you have noticed that they are much better behaved now that they are in AA, counseling, etc., and that you feel it is worthwhile to give them a second shot at this time, then that is an opinion worth considering, and is likely to be considered by the judge, guardian ad litem, and whomever else may be involved in your case.

Please note, I don't know what the facts are that landed you in the foster care system in the first place, and the stuff I wrote above is just an example meant to show the difference between an immature opinion that will be ignored versus a mature one that will at least be considered. The point is that when expressing your views, if you want to be taken seriously by the people who hold your fate in their hands, you need to have mature reasons for why to do what it is you ask for.

Sometimes though, try as you may to want to be with your family, there are things outside your control which make that impossible. For example, if someone in your place knows their parents love them, and their parents in fact do, but just cannot keep off drugs, or have no economic way to support their child, then the state may have no option but to keep you in foster care. It's awful, it happens all the time, and without money or mental health resources or detox, or whatever is needed to help solve the issue, there is no way around it.

The fact that you are out there trying to fix this on your own tells me that one day you are going to grow up to be someone. You are smart, and determined enough to try and affect your life rather than sitting around and waiting for others to change your life for you. Good for you. Just remember, you need to hang in there, and above all, get through school with the best possible grades you can.

No matter what, in 3 years, you will be on your own and that can be a scary thing. The good news is that you hold a large part of your future in your own hands, so keep on taking charge by taking care of what you can�your grades! Then doors will open up for you when you leave high school, and even if you have to attend a community college before transferring to a 4 year university, it's not a problem, so long as you keep those grades up. Alternatively, if you decide at some point that you want to learn a trade instead, that's great too, just make sure you get into the best possible school for that trade.

You're at that awkward stage in life, where legally, you have little say over your life, but practically, you have a lot of responsibility for yourself now. Your decisions matter. Just take care of what you can control, and never give up, no matter how many times you fail. Look, I've never met a successful person who did not fail a lot before succeeding.

Every famous celebrity, athlete, politician, etc., have all had major catastrophic difficulties or failures to overcome. It's only through failure that you can learn to win or succeed. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so "rah-rah" but I'm really impressed by your reaching out on your own.

I'll leave you with this. Since I don't know what happened between your parents and the authorities, I can't really comment on your situation, but I will say this: Your parents have a lot of say in when you can return. They are adults and although life may have thrown them some bad cards, they have to play them, bend over backwards as needed, and do whatever they have to, in order to get you back home. That's on them, o.k.? Your only job is to stay out of trouble and get the best possible grades you can, and be ready to hit the ground running when you turn 18.

I wish you all the best,