Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

Re: What to do? Unmarried couple on the verge of splitting up.

Before I get into the merits of your case, I want to dispell a myth that gets perpetuated over and over again. You are not at a disadvantage because you are male. You are at a disadvantage because you work over 40 hours per week, and because mom has primarily stayed home and been the "go-to" parent for the kids, doing most of the parenting functions while you were off working.

I have had cases where I represented a father who worked from home, and the mother worked like you, 40+ hours per week in a salaried job that was not limited to 40 hours/wk. Everyone thinks that I or whomever represents the father is a miracle worker when he gets primary residential custody with visitation to the mother, but that is just not so. It's mostly about who does the primary parenting and keeping the kids comfortable in that situation.

Since fathers, more often than mothers, find themselves in this situation, people just run around saying, "Washington is a mother's state," or "Washington is biased against fathers."

Having said all that, the first thing I'd tell you is that your girlfriend may bring a civil suit against you called a "meretricious relationship" claim, which means she is suing to ask the court to distribute everything you acquired during the relationship, as if you had been married. The fact that you've been together only 4 years benefits you, since it is a short relationship, but depending on your finances the last 4 years, she may be entitled to some monetary award.

Second, and more importantly, you are going to need to bring a paternity action, even though your paternity does not seem to be in doubt, to establish a child support order, as well as a Parenting Plan (Washington speak for child custody order). The Parenting Plan ("PP") sets up custody, visitation, who is allowed to make decisions for the kids, and what to do in the event of a dispute between you and the mother.

Given the facts as you relate them, unless mom agrees, you are not going to get a 50% or equal time PP. Now that she is about to be on her own, mom will need to work full time, so she'll require daycare. If your work schedules permit, perhaps you could take the kids while she works, which would give you significantly more time than the more traditional every other weekend that'd you'd otherwise receive.

There really is a lot more to talk about and what I have relayed here is just the tip of the iceberg. If you'd like a free telephone consultation, please feel free to click on my name below, and e-mail or call me to set up a time. No matter what you do, I cannot emphasize enough that you hire an attorney to handle this for you, otherwise what might be an expensive situation now, will become ridiculously expensive later.