Legal Question in Family Law in Washington
About four years ago I started dating my ex who was pregnant at the time. She was raped and didnt know who the father of her child was due to this. She didnt press any charges on him since she didnt know who he was and as I said he raped her so she didnt want him to know about the child. So we planned to raise the child together as parents.... When he was two years old we had a wedding ceramony to be married under god but didnt get married under state law since we are both female and that is not allowed in Washington state... However we were going to get a domestic partenership and the plan was for me to later adopt our son so I could be a legal parent, but we broke up before we were able to set any of that into motion. All I want more than any thing is to have leagal rights over the boy I have been raising as my son for the last three and a half years but she is telling me in order to do that she would have to find the man who raped her and have him give away his rights... He has no rights thus far because we dont know who he is. Also this makes no sense to me at all. Could this be true, would the state really make her find the man who raped her in order to give me partial custody rights. Is there any advice on what I can do to get any rights what so ever?
1 Answer from Attorneys
Given your son is 4, you can file a petition to establish a parenting plan under what is known as the "de facto parent" doctrine. This is to allow non-biologically related persons who have acted as a parent to a child to get visitation, just as you want. A de facto parent stands in legal parity with an otherwise legal parent, whether biological, adoptive or otherwise. To qualify, here is what is required:
1) your ex consented to and fostered the relationship between you and your son. 2) you and your son lived together in the same household, 3) you assumed obligations of parenthood without expectation of financial compensation and 4) you have been in a parental role for a length of time sufficient to have established with your son a bonded, dependent relationship, that is parental in nature. Recognition of a de facto parent is limited to those adults who have fully and completely undertaken a permanent, unequivocal, committed and responsible parental role in the child�s life.
From what you wrote, I think you have an excellent case, regardless of whether you and your ex do so by agreement or via litigation to establish your rights. Either way, you can accomplish this, and you don't need the biological father/rapist's permission, especially given the circumstances.
If you want to discuss your situation, please feel free to give me a call. My office is in Seattle, but I take Whatcom County cases, so that is not an issue.
Very Truly Yours,
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