Legal Question in Civil Litigation in New Jersey

Any Safe Way To 'Tell Someone Off'

Hi. I am writing because I would like to 'tell off' former employers, co-workers, and family members who treated me badly and got away with it. I know that I can't threaten them (which I have no intention of doing) but are there any other guidelines I should follow if I wish to write them a letter (as a form of catharsis for myself) to persons who verbally,emotionally, and psychologically harassed and abused me and were never sanctioned for it in anyway. I really feel its necessary that I email or write them but I certainly don't want any more problems from or with these people. What do you suggest?


Asked on 11/11/05, 4:37 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

John Corbett Corbett Law Firm LLC

Re: Any Safe Way To 'Tell Someone Off'

1. The best legal advice is not to do it. Even if you are perfect in saying what you can say, the extra exposure to future problems is unnecessary. That said and assuming that you insist ...

2. If you write, write to each one of these people separately and don't mix one person's transgressions with another's.

3. Keep copies of what you write.

4. Don't make blanket accusations of wrongdoing; those may be libelous unless you can prove that they are true. Instead, stick to what you know and can prove to be true. Frequently it helps to express things in terms of your opinion. To use an outrageous example for emphasis, the statement, "I believe that you are a sexual predator who should be locked up forever," is not libelous. Leave off the first three words and you will cause problems for yourself.

5. Similarly, even if you know something to be true does not mean that you can prove it. To be safe a statement such as, "My recollection of our conversation is ...," as opposed to, "you said."

6. Get a second opinion on what you write before you send it. It's likely that what you say to another person will sound no less damaging that what you might have to say to a jury. To be safer, get an opinion from a lawyer familiar with the law of defamation.

7. Re-read paragraph 1.

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Answered on 11/11/05, 5:28 pm


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