Legal Question in Criminal Law in California

I am currently on Felony Probation for Posession for Sales. I was not found guilty, I took a plea due to the fact that my PD said I would lose if I tried to fight it.

My first PO was cool, but though told by the Judge that I had to do a program (he said he didn't care if it was 30 day outpatient), she told me that I didn't have to do a program as long as I tested clean for her, it was her decision. Approx. 1 yr. later I got my 2nd PO, he didn't push the program issue as I was homeless and seeing him weekly, testing, and always clean. 3 months later, my 3rd. PO, she had been the lady that observed me while giving the urine to be tested each time, immediately accused me of lying, saying I wasn't homeless and she'd prove it. She search my vehicle, found my cell phone, when someone called she answered and asked how much speed they wanted? Told me I was going to jail for sales again, I wasn't even doing anything, I was homeless and broke. She took my cell phone over-night and said to return the following day to go into custody. The following day she didn't take me into custody, but rather told me she believed that I had serious mental problems and gave me phone #'s to seek professional help, she told me if I didn't have an appt. w/a psych. by the following week, I would go into custody, I did have an appt., was seen the following week to which the psych. told me that I was under extreme stress, partually due to my situation, partually due to my PO. My PO was livid. She had been taking my cell every week and calling people from my contacts, asking them how they knew me and if I had sold them any drugs lately. I couldn't believe it, she called a prospective employer, needless to say, I didn't get the job. Then I lost my phone, OMG, I was scared to death. So, on the morning, before seeing her, I went to her Supervisor, I truely believe if I hadn't, I was going to Jail. He spoke w/her and she seemed to lighten up, the next week when I arrived for our meeting, as always, I tested, knowing I was clean, she told me that I had given her a dirty test, I knew this couldn't be true, she said come back in one week to go into custody. I didn't. All of this happened in one months time, exactly, to the day. So I figured the only way out was to get into a residential program, I was accepted at the best one in this area. I had been there for one week and had to see the Judge in order to stay, so they sent a letter to verify I was there and had begun treatment, and a representative along with me. The Judge said I had to be taken into custody for a year because I had waited so long to get into a program. She said it didn't matter what my PO had said, so than why am I being violated for what my PO is saying. Please, the drugs that were in my house belonged to my son's x-girlfriend, and everyone I know-know's it. I can't believe this is my life, I don't even have a life, I don't know what to do but I know I don't want to go to Jail. I'm 52 yrs. old, have back problems and know I won't make it in there, the PD that was in Court w/me last said if I left the Courtroom, the Judge would give me 2 years in Prison, guarenteed. I left. This just seems so wrong and I don't see anyway out. I'm scared, alone, and going from friend to friends homes hiding out, but honestly, I'm running out of friends and have no family.

I am sorry, now I'm rambling. I sincerely did not mean to do that. Could you please give me some sound advice, I do know that it will not be something that I want to hear, but I have to put an end to this before it puts an end to me.

Thanking you in advance for any advice you may be able to give me.

Respectfully,

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